Sunday, March 23, 2014

DESTRUCTION AND CONSTRUCTION

During my years of teaching in the Church Education System of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I was also blessed with being involved with the development and construction of three different buildings. The first of those was a new seminary building adjacent to Tooele High School in Tooele, Utah. The second, was a new Institute building which served the students and young adults of the Reno, Nevada area. The third, for which I was only able to be involved in the long preliminary processes, eventually led to the construction of the Institute building adjacent to Saddleback College in Mission Viejo, California.

Although each of these buildings has a history and provides me with many memories, both of the pleasant and not so pleasant kind, it is a remembrance which came because of my involvement at the Reno Institute, during destruction or the ‘old’ building and the construction of the ‘new’ building, that became a springboard for this week’s Thought.

During the adventure of the demolition of the old building, which was rapidly falling apart on its own, and the construction of the new building, we held our classes and had our offices in a house which previously had served to house women who belonged to the LDS sorority attached to the University of Nevada. Memories of our yearlong adventure in that house, as the old building was destroyed and the construction of the new facility took place, seem to fall in the unpleasant memory category. However, now that I pause and search my memories more carefully, there were a lot of great times created by the uniqueness of the situation… I digress… Memories seem to have a way of causing the mind to wander.

I don't know the percentage of my time that year that was taken up as a sidewalk superintendent, but I am sure that it was on an equal par with the time I spent doing the CES work I was actually under contract to do. I watched as the old building quickly became rubble and then almost immediately all traces of its existence were only to be found in old photograph albums and the memories of students who are rapidly becoming numbered among those who we refer to as ‘no longer being among us.’

As rapidly as the old had been taken away the days of construction of the new building were underway. Although it was always on the schedule which was contractually agreed too, the work seemed to drag and stretch as the new edifice ever so slowly rose upon the dust of the old, as we tried to conduct classes and enjoy activities in very cramped conditions.

At last, we finally received the keys from the contractor, the building was dedicated, the remnants of the refreshments from the open house were all cleared, and then it started. It didn't come as an avalanche on the first day people entered our beautiful new facility, but as the weeks passed during the entire length of that inaugural year in the new building. Many of those who came through to attend classes or just to see what all the fuss was about, rather than commenting on the wonders and expansiveness of the new building, wandered the halls bemoaning the loss of the quaintness of that which had been destroyed. The beloved physical evidence which could easily stimulate the memories of courtships, spiritual awakenings, learnings and joyful days and evenings was gone forever.

I tried to have empathy with their sadness, but it was hard for me while having the joy of being able to teach in a modern classroom and prepare in a wonderful office to have empathy with their loss. In fact, their words often made me wonder why they couldn't at least try to share a little bit in the happiness which filled my life.

I was often surprised at my reaction and the dramatic change of mood I would experience when just a few words contrary to my personal view exploded on my reverie.

Likewise:

Many times as I watched our children at play, I marveled at how just a few unkind words or a single thoughtless act turned an entire afternoon of enjoyment into bitterness and anger.

Sadly, we have witnessed the reputation of entire families and organizations changed forever by the thoughtless actions or words of one person.

How often have we seen the divulging of a sacred confidence or the failure to fulfill a verbal agreement wreak havoc with friendships which were forged over decades.

We marvel that trust built up over long years of faithfulness can be shattered with but a small lie or a single moment of thoughtlessness.

It almost seems to be a universal truth:

It exists with buildings.

It exists with individuals.

It exists with groups.

It takes long hours, days and decades of love and effort to build beautiful buildings, bond relationships and bring communal gatherings into fruition, but only seconds of misguided actions or words can cause them to crumble and sometimes never exist again.

Does cleverness really justify unkindness?

Does being right really justify deflating another?

Does existence of a wonderful memory really justify the dampening of the eminent excitement another might presently be enjoying.

Just thinking that perhaps the next time I am about to do or say something unkind, ugly or unnecessary, that I take a breath, hesitate a moment and contemplate how long, if ever, it will take to re-build this relationship I am about to disintegrate with this wrecking ball leaving my mouth.

9 comments:

  1. Thank you Br. Riley. That one had my name all over it! I so appreciate your dedication and time in blessing the lives of others! Don't you die young! I'll need your wisdom for many, many years to come!

    Glad your sweetheart is recovered and you can be back at the Temple and the golf course!

    Abracos,

    Debi Woffindin

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  2. I just returned home after being away for awhile ~~ so forgive me if I haven't responded to your e-mails! This is the "First" one I brought up and I needed to read what you wrote ~~ it has helped me to think positive today (and hopefully every day from now on!). So, thank you for keeping me on your list to receive your "Thoughts"!

    Carla Johnson

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  3. Small world…..my Mother was born in
    Tooele.



    Thank you for sending your thoughts.



    I find them interesting and something I end up

    pondering

    John Medler

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  4. Good thoughts, Bill –

    Thanks for sharing; especially as first sent in Spanish!

    Joseph Bentley

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  5. Thank you Bill for your thought this week. It hit home and is much appreciated.

    May God Bless you and Kathy and your family.

    Dave Foote

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  6. Your THOUGHTS are metaphor. Allow me to attempt an exegesis. :-)
    Three buildings for instruction, built, worn-out and replaced: We are living structures, here for a time, for service. We educate through word and/or deed. In time, our time, well spent or not, must end. But that is not the end for we are replaced by those whom we have taught, trained. How well the new (living) structures serve must depend on how well did the old.
    In all of these buildings and outside of them, there are two means of instruction: word and deed. Words alone have no force, no merit. MLK spoke eloquently, and with power. The power would have been less significant had he simply enjoined his followers to go on marches; he led marches. He went to jail (did you read his letters?). Jesus led his apostles throughout Israel, then sent them out. He was raised up and suffered before asking me to stand up. God created. God gave. Words point out deeds, clarify them, help to make them inspirational and sacred. Words are potent as emissaries of Truth which Is and Does.
    Words harm as well as bless. Again though, it is less the word than the deed in the end that makes the difference. This my own testimony, inappropriate though that may be, I believe it representative: I have spoken in frustration, anger, to my wife and to my sons. That with deep and lasting regret. To the best I can discern, they love, feel supported by and in turn support me. How so? I in turn was spoken to harshly, meanly by more than one person including my family. Some of them I have found it easy to forgive. A few, almost impossible. Why such disparity?
    In each case the words did not stand alone. In some cases there were many deeds that were associated with the talker, both before and after; words too. In some cases, there was a feeling behind the words, accompanying the words. This is sometimes described a vibes or attitude. Words are in their delivery acts of either malevolence (too strong a word here?), or simple frustration when someone has exceeded their control threshold for some reason. In either case, neither justifiable, there were deeds of some sort which accompanied the words, not simply words alone.
    "By their fruit ye shall recognize them"
    Or so the metaphor seems to me. :-)

    Paul Maddox

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  7. Querido hermano y Hermana Riley:Mil gracias por sus pensamientos y la analogia de la destruccion y la construccion del edificio del SEI en REno Nevada.Reciban un abrazo y que el Señor los bendiga
    ahora y siempre.

    Armando y Graciela Gomez

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  8. Muy lindo mensaje, llego en un momento muy oportuno y consolador.

    LUZ MARINA PINZON

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