Sunday, May 9, 2010

COMMONALITY OF CHARACTERISTICS

Long ago and not so far away from our current home, at the time when I was a 14 year old teenager who had an elevated and unrealistic opinion of his value as a contributor to society, my ‘king of the hill’ position in my little pond of associates was threatened by of all things a Texan. Not that there is anything wrong with a Texan, but when compared to a cool Southern California cat there should have been no thought of the existence of the concept of competition. It wasn’t more than a matter of a few weeks before I started to notice the girly giggles which had once accompanied my entering a room were being stimulated by HIS entrances. My place at the top of the ‘choosing up teams’ was now more and more often being replaced by HIS name. Just when this was headed towards becoming a physical problem a strange thing happened. Little by little we discovered that we really liked being with one another and started to make movements toward becoming inseparable friends.

As I have had time to contemplate this transformation in the years when my own self interests have not been so predominant and my ego not so fragile, I have discovered that the old adage that ‘opposites attract’ may be true for transitory relationships, but doesn’t always hold true for lasting relationships. Although I am sure that the differences we have with others add to the contribution of the synergistic whole of our relationship, more and more I believe that lasting relationships are built on the discovery of commonality of interests and talents. I think that we are able to accept the weirdness of others as we come to discover that we have a foundation of sameness to build upon.

Using another old adage, ‘birds of a feather,’ to add to my feelings about the importance of commonalities in relationships, I want to explore this thought as it affects what I consider to be the most important relationship we need to develop while we are blessed to bask in the radiance of the sun as it shines down upon us in our mortal walk. With no desire to diminish the importance of commonality in building lasting spousal, parental, family and friend relationships, I want to spend a few minutes pondering the importance of commonalities in strengthening a relationship which at once is much more distant than Texas from California and yet as close as my next Heaven sent thought. That would be the relationship between we as strangers sent to a strange land and time and the Parent who sent us forth.

Since I seem to be driven to fill this page with adages let me add one more which I am sure has been delivered by most parents to their offspring. That would be the ever so true words that ‘someday you will understand.’ There is little doubt that as I have walked the paths where my father preceded me my understanding has increased as to what he was all about and I find myself emulating his actions and words.

Is it possible, therefore, that I was sent to mortality by a loving Heavenly Father to walk paths of parenthood and develop other meaningful relationships so that some day I might begin to understand more fully as He understands? Do I begin to gain some understanding of the totality of His Tender Mercies when I strive to follow His admonition to love even my enemies? Is it possible that as my nature begins in halting and small steps to move toward a closer resemblance of the character of Deity that each small movement toward commonality strengthens my relationship with Him?

Is it possible every time I show an act of kindness to another my relationship to God increases?

Is it possible every time I show tenderness with a developing child my relationship with God increases

Is it possible that as I am compassionate with one in need my relationship with God increases?

Is it possible every time I follow the path of good and eschew evil my relationship with God increases?

I believe with all my heart that each time we become involved in His work and His service, as my desires and performances in life become more common to His, our relationship strengthens.

Ezra Taft Benson expressed what I am trying to say in the following way: “The Savior declared that life eternal is to know the only true God and His Son Jesus Christ (John 17:3). If this is true, and I bear you my solemn witness that it is true, then we must ask how we come to know God. The process of adding one godly attribute to another, as described by Peter (2 Peter 1:2-8), becomes the key to gaining this knowledge that leads to eternal life.” Ensign, November 1996 p. 45

My constant prayer is that the blessings of Heaven will be poured down upon us to strengthen our faltering steps as we try to develop inseparable relationships with all whom we come in contact, but most especially as we move toward an everlasting relationship with our Heavenly Father who we must desire to emulate in every thought, in every word and in every deed.

11 comments:

  1. Boy Bill this is really GOOD! You've really got it...Tom Borgquist

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  2. So, who was that? Terry Martin, Dennis Martin? I know they came from Texas.

    Sandie Johnson

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  3. Thanks Brother Riley... Let it be known that one day I hope to have more commonality with you than the vast differences that still separate us because I am still working on all of those Godlike attributes that I admire you so much for! Thanks for all you have taught me over the years...
    Brian Andre

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  4. "Thanks and thanks for the thoughts to brighten each Sunday."
    Debbie Downs Wanlass

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  5. Thanks again for the thought. Even as we age and get forgetful and feel inadaquate we can try to emulate in our Father and His Son in our daily goings about our day. The Buccambuso's

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  6. Hello President,

    Just wanted to say thanks for your input and thoughts. One in particular email came at a time when I was waffling on a subject and your email addressed it perfectly. You sure made a great impression on many lives from our mission.

    That was a good Colombia restaurant tip off of Facebook. I was in California this past Feb, just after you and Hma, Mead, Pollo, etc had a dinner out together. I took my family and they thought it was "interesting".

    Also, I was talking with Noah Richards the other day and mentioned your emails. He said he would like to receive them. His email address is:
    Michael Christensen

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  7. I appriciate your emails. I have recently changed my email address to...
    can you please update your address book
    Hunter Swift

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  8. Dear President Riley: My only observation deals with your sentence: “The process of adding one godly attribute to another … becomes the key to gaining this knowledge [i.e., to come to know God] that leads to eternal life.” The implication seems to be that, unlike other traditional Christian religions, that : (1) God is knowable; and (2) the “omis” (which humans cannot hope to achieve) of omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient are low on the list of God’s traits (or perhaps not at all—at least in their traditional meanings) in contrast to omnibenevolent—which, if unpacked, certainly includes love of the “other.”
    Blain Andrus

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  9. Bill,
    Sorry to be late responding. I have been thinking about the importance of "commonalities" in relationships for these past few days, not so much consciously, but as I seem to do as I go through life, in a not so conscious and perhaps then not too thoughtful state. If God didn't grant me subconscious thought I worry that I would have no thought at all. :(
    Many have perceived that my wife and I have little in common to bind us together, she being a beautiful black woman and I being an ordinary white man. Furthermore, she was raised a farm girl, I a town boy. She was raised by parents with little education, I by parents with advanced degrees. Yada, yada, yada. As it turns out, by far the greatest lack of commonality between us has been that Paulette is female while I am male. Men are from Mars after all. This is a difference that all heterosexual couples face, and as the prophet has seemed to insist, opposites do and should attract. It is God's plan that from the attraction of differences wonderful things result.
    People are often bound by their similarities, their unity of culture and purpose. With this bond they unite their slender strengths; many threads make a mighty chord. You are in the process of studying world history. One lesson I could but help learning, correctly or not, while going through Will and Ariel Durant's Story of Civilization was that people with unity of purpose too frequently seemed predisposed to conflict with others whose "commonality" of purpose was different from theirs. This has been especially true with religions. What has the Mormon experience been?
    Jesus had an answer, but his answer has gone unheeded. His answer was most dramatically symbolized in his story of "The Good Samaritan." Jesus seemed to praise the one who paid no heed to the "commonalities" expected as an "act of obedience" of his religion. He seemed to imply that those who clung to commonalities were denying Him.
    It wasn't lust that compelled me toward Paulette, although of course opposites do attract, but some other attraction of opposites and a recognition that there was a much more important underlying commonality to be found there.
    Finally, where I find the most compelling attraction for me, and one which has dominated my life is one with which I find myself much more different than from Paulette. I am attracted to One who is so different from me that I believe from my heart that I couldn't in my dreams have the hubris to see myself having "commonality" with Him. It is with One who has so much love that I am indebted to Him for the tiny amount of love I have. It is with One whose wisdom is such that I may only bow to Him in awe. It is One whose power overwhelms. I can imagine no greater difference.
    Differences do attract. And seeking commonality with Him and through His love with others is my greatest reward.
    Paul Maddox

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. "We enjoy your writings. Keep them coming."
    Corinne Shumway

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