SEEING BEAUTY THROUGH BLINDNESS

If you ever find yourself wandering amid the headstones in the Minden, Nevada cemetery you might just happen across one bearing the name of:

Pam Cantrell

Born May 31st 1949

Passing March 19th 1977

I suspect there will be few who will ever know more than this about the life of this person who witnessed a scant 27 winters pass into spring. Pam spent her first 15 years in Marchfield, Missouri. I can't add to your knowledge of those years other than to say that at a very early age, childhood diabetes started to ravage Pam’s body, leaving her with a life where she had few days of knowing what good health might feel like, and blind.

I first came to know Pam while she was attending the University of Nevada during the years I was teaching at the LDS Institute of Religion in Reno, Nevada. She was very alive and vibrant as she scurried from one appointment to another following the tapping red tipped collapsible cane which was her constant companion.

Pam’s typical day would include attending classes in her chosen field of Music History and listening to tapes. Students at the Institute would read her text books and record them on tapes. Pam would then spend her afternoons and evenings listening to those tapes and the lectures she had recorded. It was always wonderful to see one list of volunteer readers full and another list being filled out with names of those who wanted to read for Pam.

Having Pam be part of my life gave me some insights which I might have learned in other ways and from other people, but I am glad she was there to help bring them into my life.

First, love cast upon the waters will always return.

Among other successes during her short life, Pam managed to spread her love by serving two years as a full time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, teaching at the Services for the Blind, fulfilling church callings and visiting hospitals.

The Friday before her passing, as she was enduring her last days of mortality and while her own suffering was intensifying, Pam visited her grandmother to discuss a comforting hymn and then fixed a meal to take to a family who was without funds or food.

Because she loved so freely she was also able to be loved freely by others who constantly included her in their lives.

Second, what a great shame it is to be able to read and not to do so.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that the hours spent by Pam listening to the tapes of her lectures and texts resulted in her being a straight ‘A’ student. Sometime I would just stand and watch as she would stop the tape, ponder upon what she had just heard, play the section again to make sure she understood or go on knowing that this bit of knowledge was now hers. It was when I watched her doing this listening, pondering and re-listening exercise, while reading the scriptures that I first started to understand what it meant to search the scriptures.

Following her example, there were more than one of her peers who improved their grade averages during those years.

Third, there are many beauties to see which they who have eyes will never enjoy.

Even though Pam was not born blind and she had the references of her youth in her mind’s eye, I don't think there will be a lot of surprises when light restores the sights of her darkened days. She was constantly aware of those near her. She knew them by their footsteps, she knew them by their odors and she knew them by their laughter. She knew whether the days were cloudy or sunny, when the rain and snow were approaching. She knew when she was surrounded by pines or passing a rose bush. She was aware!

How sad it is that so many of us bump amid each other hardly recognizing the existence of one another. How sad it is that so many of us complain when the temperatures rise and with echoing complaints when its falls. How sad that so many of us only seem to recognize the unpleasant smells and miss nature’s gallery of perfumes.

Fourth, spiritual insights are whispered to the soul.

There were many times during the fifty plus years I was privileged to stand in front of students when I was aware that it was I, not they who was the student.

Although Pam wasn’t the first or the last to teach me from the student’s chairs, she is one whose image will frequent my mind when I think of this marvelous role reversal that teachers are privileged to enjoy. The insights often come in the form of questions which bear light. What do you think of ‘this way’ of looking at repentance? Would adding this ‘practice’ to our prayers make them more meaningful? Would our faith be increased if we did ‘this?’ The insights which had been whispered to her soul, stirred my spirit and they were outpoured.

I know that most of us as we pass through life, securely standing as if we were at the podium, would do well to be still and listen to what might be being whispered.

As I look at the space between the dates of Pam’s birth and her passing I am left with impressions of 27 winters passing into spring well spent. In a very wonderful way she found a way to make those years part of her exciting eternal experience.

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whosoever is found possessed of it at the last day it shall be well with him.

Wherefore my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are the true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. (Moroni 7:47, 48)

THOUGHTS FOR A SABBATH DAY – WILLIAM L. RILEY
EDITED BY – KATHLEEN W. RILEY
TRANSLATED BY – WALTER I. CRUZ