WHAT DO I REALLY BELIEVE?

From the words the Savior has spoken throughout the ages through His prophets and the few words we have which He spoke while he sojourned as a mortal on the earth, He left little doubt that one of the attributes of the Telestial or mortal man which He most strongly detested was hypocrisy. He truly abhorred that clever and deceitful thing which we do in relating to one another as we go in and out of relationships; the ability we develop to one degree or another in making people think we believe and say one thing when the polar opposite might be reality. I think that we sometimes spend so much time at this hypocritical game that we even convince ourselves that we may be something different than what we really are.

I have often pondered on this problem of self deception and the propensity we have of trying to deceive others and wondered how I might come to know the real me. I'm still not sure I have come to know the either the solution or the formula for conquering what seems to be an unconquerable foe, but none the less let me wade in where wiser men would turn altogether there from.

Is my real self demonstrated by what I SAY?

The brethren have often admonished us to be free with bearing our testimonies to one another not only so that we might strengthen others, but also that in so doing we might somehow add to the strength of our own beliefs. On the other hand, we all know how difficult it is for mortals to control those faculties which allow speech. We often find ourselves saying something to someone which is contrary to the truth just because we find it easier or less controversial than bringing to light what we are really thinking. Therefore I must ask, does my talk reveal to me that what I really believe is truth is relative to my best interest or convenience in a given moment of time? It would be difficult to ever be secure in saying that what I believe and therefore, who I really am is always demonstrated by what I say.

Is my real self demonstrated by what I DO?

Elder Bruce R. McConkie said that "we could know what we truly believe by what we do." I suspect it is a far more accurate barometer than relying solely on what l say but I know too many people who believe in the pseudo philosophy of faking it until you make it. There are many others who spend their lives doing what they think is expected of them or in order to please others. It seems that we clever humans have found a lot of loopholes in Elder McConkie's statement. However, I do believe that it is much easier to think I know the real me when somehow my actions more closely match my words.

Is my real self demonstrated by who I AM?

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said when discussing the attribute of meekness, "that a person's meekness level couldn't be demonstrated by a display of humility but that meekness itself was the real thing." How do I know when what I am displaying to the world is the real me and what I really believe, in other words the real thing? It seems that like all the attributes of Godliness we aspire to obtain, that our mortal efforts, as the Apostle Paul says, will cause us all to fall short of the mark. I must somehow come to appreciate that this situation which I am pondering upon, that of discovering who I am through a true belief system is the eternally important discovery of my coming to know my real beliefs and thereby who I really am and not just another fake aspiration put forth from a mortal mind. Which discovery, I must come to know, can only be made with the aid of the gift and power of God and that my own meager efforts will always fall short of the desired goal.

It seems that indeed I must diligently struggle to know what I really believe and thereby discover who I really am, until I have been proven in all ways and then I become eligible to be the recipient of His Grace which in the Greek language was called Mikarios and in English is called blessed. The closest we can come to an understanding of what that word meant, whether in Greek or English, is that it is a gift of God given when one has done all they can do to obtain the desired outcome. Therefore as President Ezra Taft Benson said, "the most important thing we can do in this life is to come to know who we really are and for what purpose we were sent," which Sure Knowledge can only come from Him who sent us.

It seems that I will really know who I am and what I believe when that change has been WROUGHT upon me, which causes all my thoughts, words and deeds to be consistent and unchangeable with the real person Heavenly Father sent me forth to become and then has aided me to become.

Until that wonderful day of brightness of understanding comes, let us all continue to help one another by edifying, strengthening and building one another as much as we possibly can without hypocrisy.