WHERE AM I HEADED

During those magical and miserable years of my teens, long before I started to understand, let alone take seriously the principle of repentance. I considered two weeks a sufficient period of time to erase any action my parents or the church might find undesirable. Therefore, there always seemed to be ample time, between the announcement of a Temple Trip and the interview with the Stake President, to make myself worthy to go on the bus to the Mesa, Arizona Temple. I also had that other rationalization going for me which called upon the comparing of crosses. I knew that there would be few seats on the bus filled with teens that were doing any better, in comparison to the standards, than I.

Armed with these personal interpretations of worthiness standards, I boldly met with President James Hobbs for the recommend interview. I answered each question with confidence having a solid two weeks of being good behind me. Seeing _______ (name intentionally withheld), who I knew was in a much shorter repentance cycle than myself, come out of the president’s office with a smile also gave me the assurance I needed to respond to the questions without choking on my answers.

I remember one such trip to Arizona when President Hobbs joined us as one of the chaperones. I had cleverly brought a small squirt gun concealed in the cavity of a book. Periodically I would send a small squirt onto the bag just above the president’s mostly hairless head. The water eventually accumulated enough that a pretty steady – drip – drip – drip started to descend upon the unprotected cranium of President Hobbs. Each time the bus made a rest stop I would refill and after re-boarding the bus the game would begin again. At the end of the trip our mouths were sore since we had to forcibly clap hands over mouths in order to contain our snickers and avoid discovery.

The trip was wonderful and during the following year every time my buddies and I saw President Hobbs we had a hard time keeping from busting up with laughter as we recalled how even the handkerchief he was using to wipe his pate became so moistened that he had to wring it out in the isle of the bus.

The next year’s trip was announced and the quick repentance process was initiated and I was all prepared for the night we went to the President’s house for our interviews. As I entered his home office he was wearing an unusually broad smile. In an instant I knew that he knew. Nothing was said about the previous year’s trip and the interview proceeded and I confidently answered the questions. (As confident as two weeks of abstinence allows), I felt I was home free and was preparing for him to excuse me and have me send the next interviewee in as I left his office with a smile, which would surely give _______ confidence. Then the shoe fell! In reality it felt more like a brick. In hushed tones, which I could barely hear even with my youthful ears, he said the words: “Bill, if you aren’t careful you will end up where you are headed.”

I know our time together in that interview extended well beyond the normal allotted time. I can’t bring to remembrance a lot of the rest of his calm, peaceful counsel, but I do remember the impact it had on me. The weeks and years which followed have contained long moments of introspection about where I am going and where President Hobbs thought I was headed. I don’t think it needs to be said, but on our Temple Trip that year there was no book cleverly hollowed out to conceal a squirt gun.

That year’s trip was different in other ways also. I even remember wondering about the people who I was vicariously being baptized for and how they felt about what was happening as I entered the water on their behalf. That year’s list of people I had been baptized for is now faded and worn, but remains in my collection of mementos of one of those magical teen times.

Alma had a similar talk with his son Corianton, who had made a youthful personal interpretation about how a missionary in the service of the Lord should conduct himself. Alma, in trying to help his wayward son, spoke on the same principle as President Hobbs. That the road we are on will lead us to a determined destination. Alma expounded upon the Law of Restoration as he taught his son that all things would be restored to their natural state. Alma, in referring to the stages of life after our mortal probation, said that whatever path we choose to be on during mortality, we would find ourselves walking that same path hereafter. If we follow the Plan of Happiness now we will be restored to a state of happiness. If we follow the plan of the adversary, which has as its goal to make men miserable, then after death we will be restored to a state of misery.

Evidently Corianton got the message because almost immediately Alma calls him to go forth and preach the gospel. My personal conversion wasn’t as instantaneous as Corianton’s, but over the years I have come to understand that repentance doesn’t come by a short diversion back onto the path outlined in the Plan of Happiness.

Repentance happens when we change in such a way that our daily walk is not an occasional diversion onto the path, but when our occasional diversions from the straight and narrow diminish dramatically.

Alma was there for his son Corianton at a pivotal time. President Hobbs was there at a very important time in my life. Corianton responded and made a dramatic course correction. I would hope if another interview were possible with President James Hobbs he might now say, “Bill if you are careful you will end up where you are headed.”

Scriptures: Alma 41, Alma 42:31