GOODLY PARENTS

As Nephi begins his history keeping at the beginning of the what we now have recorded in the Book of Mormon, he makes the declaration that he had been born of ‘goodly’ parents and then goes on to give his testimony that they had fulfilled their duty in preparing him for the trials he would face in life and a foundation necessary for understanding the mysteries of God.

We don't have to turn very many pages before we discover that his older brothers Laman and Lemuel did not come out of the experience with their parents, Lehi and Sarah, having the same appreciation for their efforts nor ending up on the same path as their younger brothers.

When father Lehi gives his final blessing to the off spring of Laman and Lemuel he pronounces that whatever cursings might come because of their wrong choices would be put upon the heads of their parents. (2 Nephi 4:3-8)

If we were having one of those days when we felt that every wrong decision or action our children made was our fault, we might go into some depth of depression thinking that we had not only done ‘badly’ parenting, but would be under condemnation for the wayward decisions of our children, we might also wonder why would we embark upon such a venture?

We get a little bit of clarification in Doctrine and Covenants 68: 25-29 when the Lord places the cursing upon those parents who failed to teach their children righteous ways. That would give Lehi and Sarah an out and eliminate their having to suffer the cursings from the rebellious acts of Laman and Lemuel. After all, Nephi had proclaimed them to be ‘goodly’ and having fulfilled their duty to teach their children.

It doesn't necessarily add total clarity to one’s ponderings when we read in the Doctrine and Covenants 101: 78 that everyone has moral agency and is, therefore, accountable for their own decisions.

If we let our minds go to the extremes of the problem, we find that in spite of what would have been perfect dedication and teaching from our Heavenly Parents, there were many of their spiritual off spring who made and continue to make decisions contrary to their ’Godly’ parent’s teachings. Yet we can search the scriptures and will never encounter any indication that Heavenly Father came under any condemnation because of the choices and actions of His children.

I think the problem we encounter in pondering this principle is that we fail to concentrate on the object in Nephi’s beginning statement. The object in his sentence wasn't the child (Laman – Lemuel – Nephi – Sam) but the Parents. Think about it being that we were never sent to earth to learn to become ‘goodly’ children, but ‘goodly’ parents.

Adam and Eve, who, in spite of their efforts, had a few children who chose alternate paths to walk upon, were obedient to the Lord’s instructions to teach their children (Pearl of Great Price – Moses 6: 1-9). It would be a very heavy burden indeed if our first parents were to bear the cursings of all of mankind, but instead we find the scriptures giving us constant reassurance of Adam and Eve’s dedication in striving to be ‘goodly’ parents.

As we read the account of Adam and Eve, we find very early in their earthly mission they were given dominion (to govern after the manner of the Lord) over all living things, we begin to gain a glimpse of why Nephi would want to open his account declaring the existence of ‘goodly’ parents.

Taking our understanding of dominion to be to govern after the manner of the Lord, which sadly has been changed to mean we are given some kind of permission to dominate (oh how that word has lost its original meaning) and to rule with force and control over other’s ability to make choices, we also need to return to the original meaning of ‘goodly’ parents or God-like parents.

I hope that little bulb above each of our heads just added a degree or two of illumination, or if you prefer we just had a bit of an ‘a-hah’ moment.

Since we have been gifted with the words Joseph Smith spoke as he spent lengthy hours in the School of the Elders teaching about the characteristics, attributes and perfections of God (Lectures on Faith), along with the scriptures we have ample instructions on our main purpose for enjoying the gift of our sojourn on earth.

The mortal curriculum designed to help us learn to become God-like parents, thereby helping us fulfill the main purpose of our present existence and give us a foundation for eternal life as Eternal Parents, could possibly be designed to follow the following steps:

1. We would spend most of our time in our preparatory ages when we live with our parents, observing their ‘goodly’ parenting and gaining a desire to pattern our parenting after theirs. This seems to be quite different than modern tendencies of children, or maybe not so modern since Cain, Laman and Lemuel did likewise, to constantly look at all the failings and weaknesses in their parents or try to blame all of our failings and weaknesses on them.
2. This early time of life is then followed by an intense on the job training where we try to practice the patterns we observed in ‘goodly’ parents. We spend a lot of these years coming to realize that it really was a very good and difficult thing our parents accomplished during the days when we were the experiment which allowed them to gain a degree of ‘goodliness’.
3. Our nest becomes empty or perhaps a place of occasional visitations, but we realize that our earthly course work designed to help us become ‘goodly’ parents is a cradle to grave schooling experience. Lehi leaves us with little doubt of the total life experience of learning to be ‘goodly’ parents when, during his last mortal moments, he continues in his efforts to bring his children unto righteousness. (2 Nephi 1-4)
4. We, somewhere along the line before or after passing from mortality’s frail existence, figure out that this life is not only a time to prepare to meet God, but is the beginning of our schooling which will eventually qualify us for the Eternal Parenting roles of bringing to pass the immortality and eternal lives of children. (Moses 1:39)

When we concentrate on the main subject of Nephi’s opening sentence to be ‘goodly’ parents, we understand why David O. McKay taught. ‘No success in this world can compensate for failure in the home’ and why the Lord’s servants continue to press for the preservation of the family unit; for therein we will find the main pathway which leads to becoming like our Heavenly Parents.

THOUGHTS FOR A SABBATH DAY – WILLIAM L. RILEY

EDITED BY – KATHLEEN W. RILEY