Since it seems that one’s long term memory is more easily accessed during our ‘experienced’ years, I often find myself spending substantial periods of time pondering upon days of yore. Although there is significant value to those who promote the doctrine of living in the moment, I have also found it beneficial to let my mind linger in the yesterdays of my life. Because of this personal tendency of finding comfort and joy in reviewing my life’s passage, as I was starting to make the transition from Alma’s blessings to his sons I reread one of his concluding remarks to his son Corianton found in verse 30 of chapter 42 of Alma.
O my son, I desire that ye should deny the justice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility.
This verse sent me on one of my memory searching journeys which had many twists, turns, unnecessary steps and direction corrections. (Maybe someday I will more clearly understand that all the diversities of my life were necessary and providential.)
I beg your indulgence and hope you will join me as I drag out of my mind the history of what I recall to have been my journey to where I feel Alma is telling us our conversion steps should lead us.
The obedience to the directions of father and mother and faith in their words phase:
As much as I can remember, this part of my journey took place from infancy until sometime in my early teens. I suspect that as with all in that age bracket there were times when there were correctional moments when obedience wasn’t strictly adhered to, when it came to my journey to know about Heavenly Father my path would have to have been considered a shadow following my parents’ example.
We said the blessing at meals, we said our individual prayers at night, we had family prayer in the morning, we went to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on Sunday and our social life was almost exclusively involved with members of our ward and our family.
If my conduct while participating in these activities were to be the barometer by which my personal faith were to be judged I am sure I would have been found wanting.
I do remember some emotionally charged moments (which I would now identify as promptings of the Holy Spirit) such as the feeling I had when I was told we were moving, when a favorite pet passed away or when I met a new friend which I seemed to have known previously. However, my knowledge of God seemed to be the accumulation of oft repeated phrases in church or in the home.
The years of knowing everything and yet knowing nothing during my teen years phase:
If you were to judge my life by worldly standards during these years I would probably come off looking very good, however, if you were to judge me as one who was seeking to know about God I would be found greatly lacking.
Although I did all the routine church stuff which I had done in the previous phase of my life, and I received and performed the duties of the Aaronic Priesthood, I consider these years as those of putting on hold my journey to come to know God. It is pretty easy to remember that my desire to know about eternal gospel principles was more show than substance.
When I spend time like today pondering these years I realize I was exploring and coming to know more about the ways of mortality than the ways of eternity. Most of my thoughts, words and actions during these years were about sports, girls, friends and how far the envelope of obeying my father and mother could be pushed.
If I had had greater awareness during these years of the personal interaction of my Heavenly Farther with His children while they are on their earthly mission, I would have known that it was only because of Him that I celebrated my 19th birthday.
If I were to sum up the progression I was making to come to know God during this phase of my life I would just say I was pretty much in time out.
The real beginning of my journey to know God phase:
This part of my life started on a train ride to Fort Ord, California, where I was treated to the privilege of going through Basic Training, Clerk Typist Training and being a company mail clerk during the six months of active duty of my eight year Army Reserve Training. It only took a short time in this new and foreign environment for me to realize that the accustomed barriers which aided me to maintain my proper place inside established church and familial parameters had come down like the walls of Jericho. For the first time in my life the way I comported myself outside the strict control of the United States Army was totally my choice.
One of the events I remember which shocked me from my lethargic attitude about seeking to know God the Eternal Father, was when a bunk mate asked me why one of the boys in our platoon wore funny underwear. Since he was a Catholic I told him it was similar to his wearing of the cross. My answer seemed to satisfy him, but I found myself lacking satisfaction.
I soon found myself seeking out and attending the base Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints services and then when I was able to leave base after basic training I found myself attending the local Seaside Ward.
It might have been partly because of having learned to keep low during live fire drills, inhaling nerve gas or learning the spirit of the bayonet, but I found myself kneeling by my bed at night and to the best of my ability trying to pray sincerely and feel a personal closeness to my Father in Heaven. I was also struck with a new and unusual desire to serve a full time mission.
After finishing my six months of active duty I returned home and wasted a semester at Santa Ana Junior College while awaiting to see if the Army would allow me to take a two year sabbatical from my active reserve time and I would also be lucky enough to be granted one of the mission calls which were allotted to a ward each six months because of the Korean conflict.
I found myself conflicted during this period between my active duty in the Army and awaiting my mission call because of the allure of activities with friends and my anxiousness to be in the mission field.
When I was called to serve in the Northern Mexican Mission for two and a half years I was immediately back on the journey which had sprung from a short conversation with a bunk mate.
Although I probably wasn’t among the top 10% of the missionaries which brought zero worries to the mission president, I applied myself diligently to the task of learning about God and the restored gospel and gained the preliminary abilities to testify and teach these principles.
I was also able to receive a wonderful portion of Heavenly Father’s love and grace when he manifested to me the truthfulness of The Book of Mormon Another Testament of Jesus Christ.
Little did I know during those years that there was a huge gap between knowing about God and coming to know Him.
Years of learning and teaching phase:
Although these years comprised by far the longest period of my earthly journey I will just briefly state that studying the word and teaching the word are not necessarily an absolute path to coming to know God the Eternal Father and sadly, in fact may account as exercises to come to know about God.
The minister, husband and father phase:
…let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility.
In a time in the history of the world when many traditional institutions are being questioned and even mocked, my remembrances about my journey to come to know God, mightily reinforce the absolute essential-ness of fellowship in the kingdom, eternal marriage and parenthood. The growth which has come from the privilege of having been blessed with these opportunities allows me to testify of my absolute knowledge of how they aid one to come to know God the Eternal Father.
The little I understand about justice has come from having the whisperings of the Holy Spirit counsel me when I have had stewardships of judgement.
The little I understand about mercy has come from having the whisperings of the Holy Spirit counsel me when ministering to brothers, sisters and family who were struggling where I once struggled.
The little I understand about long suffering has come from having the whisperings of the Holy Spirit counsel me when I needed to more deeply understand the trials of a brother, sister or family member.
The little I understand about humility has come from having the whisperings of the Holy Spirit counsel me about my relationships with brothers, sisters, family and most especially my Heavenly Parents.
The little I understand about love has come from having the privilege of feeling the love of my Heavenly Father sink deep into my heart.
I am certain that I will pass through the veil and probably well into eternity before my journey to know God is completed, but I am deeply grateful for the privilege I have had to have a measure of his grace, mercy and love attend me.
THOUGHTS FOR A SABBATH DAY – WILLIAM L. RILEY
EDITED BY – KATHLEEN W. RILEY
❣️THINK + PLAN + PREPARE + DO ➡️ GENTLENESS + KINDNESS + CARING + GENEROSITY ➡️ HUGS + PEACE + JOY + LOVE ➡️ INTEGRITY + FAITH + HOPE + CHARITY❣️ = 💞THE GOOD LIFE💞
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